Red Line Stabby & The Problems with Bachelorettes

So, I made it through the move. Phew.

The newest news (besides a really swell cohabitation arrangement that is held together by love and a completely adorable appreciation for one another) is that I have switched train lines to commute back and forth from work from the Brown Line (yuppie central. Cushy, mostly pleasant, clean-ish, avoidable at 5:05 pm when it is packed like a sardine can) to the Red Line (overcrowded, full of garbage--T calls it the "chicken bone line" because there are always chicken bones on the ground from someone's lunch).

Grrrrr.

Yesterday morning, I was treated to 40 minutes (40 full minutes, people. From Lawrence to Jackson.) of heterosexual PDA unfurling with great vigor in the seats in front of me. He was touching her hair, he was stroking her cheek, they were making out, she was giggling. Blech. It's not what I want to bear witness to at 7:10 in the morning.

TODAY was a treat. I switched seats three times after I got on. One: "Sleeping" worker guy--he was not asleep but he wanted to pretend so he could have a seat to himself--taking up 20% of my seat; Two: fat lady--also taking up 20% of my seat--knitting, arms flail-y and akimbo; Three: yuppie chick reading her Red Eye, elbows up.

I am surprised I do not stab people with my fictitious swarovski-encrusted blade.

I guess I can excuse fat lady, but I do think it's sort of annoying when people do activities that involve their arms being perpendicular to their shoulders on rush hour trains. I think that things like knitting and boxing sparring practice should be reserved for non-rush-hour trains.

In other news, I read this morning in the Red Eye (in between all the seat-switching) that gays do not like it when bachelorette parties invade their bars. It made me recall the days when they wouldn't let women in at all, asking them for four and five IDs to prevent them from entering. I think that's my potential solution for the problem.

You wanna come in, bachelorette? No problem, just provide the required four IDs and you and all your girlfriends can get your drink on here. Or maybe we should just make them sign petitions to legalize gay marriage before they can come in. Or maybe, we should send them all the Spyners or Stargaze. I think that the neighborhood dykes would get a big kick out of them.

As a lesbian who does profit somewhat from the marriage industry, however, I think that more queer performers and queer industries should pop up to profit on the queers-as-popular-for-bachelorettes trend. I say there is nothing wrong with drunken bachelorettes in Catholic Schoolgirl outfits paying me handsomely to teach them how to take off their clothes.

Nope, nothing wrong with that.

Just stay out of my bars, bitches.

xox,
Ms. Bea Haven
The Great Chicago Fire

Burlesque Workshops & Rainbow Sweatshirts

Last night was entertaining. I taught a burlesque workshop at The Pleasure Chest for a gaggle of straight ladies. It was really fun--they were really into it and were really supportive of me and one another. I taught some moves and then worked them through a chair dance for their hubbies.

Fun times. There were 5 ladies there and I made a decent chunk of change for my hour and a half. Awes.

Things are looking up. I met with a venue last night for a show I'm working on with The Pin-Ups. They are this amazing group of musicians that do this 40's Andrews Sisters thing. Madame Pinup and I went to this theater space to check it out.

While we were at the venue, we met a producer who knows people in P-town. He said that the Women's Week in October might be looking for people and he'd connect us with them. Also, he said that there was a venue there that was looking for entertainers for the summer. Woo! Gay resort, here we come.

Funny story about P-Town: The last time I was at my parent's house, they came downstairs one morning wearing matching shirts--they do this a lot, match their shirts--they often purchase matching shirts on vacation. But these particular shirts were from Provincetown. And each had a tiny rainbow flag on it. I was like, "Uh, guys? You know that those are gay shirts, right? You're identifying yourselves as queer with the rainbows." My mom was like, "Really? Oh, well. We just thought the rainbows were pretty."

What is amazing to me is that the more I put myself out there, the more that comes back in the form of opportunities. That is my thought for the morning as I launch myself into yet another "double". (Day job during the day; performance at night.) Tomorrow, I meet with an illustrator--who I am hiring to do some art for our posters for the classic burlesque show at Uncommon Ground--and then Saturday I move in with Special Lady T! Yikes! No stress...

xox,
Ms. Bea

Relaxing, Finally.

Finally, a moment to catch my breath.

I had to give up one of my newer commitments today, because I was feeling really overloaded and stressed. And the end result was an evening to just sit down and relax, which was really needed this evening. I sat around, chitchatted on the phone with T, ordered myself a Pocket (I'm obsessed with Pockets), and watched a few hours of a re-run of a Top Model marathon.

Work-work is crazy bananas, so it was totally cool to have a night to chill.

Things are going really well. I was just accepted into Mondo Homo 2009, which is a queer performance and arts festival in Atlanta. I will get to travel with my work more--which has been a goal since I got my MFA. Super cool. I still have to negotiate the travel stipend, but I think it's all gonna work out. Yeah!

Also, I have been working hard on my new Martini Time costume. I started this costume sewing class and we're about halfway through and I lined and sewed the halter-top part of the dress on Saturday. Me and the teacher also started making the pattern for the bullet bra.

I need to really kick the sewing into high gear and start sewing when I'm not in class to make it happen by April 11 (the show for which I am sewing the costume) and get going on my video piece for it, but it's gonna be so nice when it's ready. The costume pieces are flashy and the colors are great on me. Can't wait to unveil it all.

This past weekend was pretty amazing. As I mentioned, it kicked off with a really great show on Thursday night. On Friday, I just chilled with Special Lady T and MainGay and watched Battlestar Galactica and had some sushi from Indie Cafe, one of my favorite new places to order from.

On Saturday, I taught a killer class and then did a bachelorette party, teaching striptease to ten ladies, which was so much fun. After that, we went out with MainGay and Pastry Chef for a really nice dinner at this great Italian place and went back to T's place (where some lovin' was had. Incredibly hot lovin', I might add). We then fell into bed, exhausted. Her cat, Gertrude (the cat's actual name), was up all night serenading us and trampling on our heads, so we were extra tired.

Sunday--me and T got up early and packed for three hours before I went to costume class and then headed to the weekly salon Girlie-Q is running to rehearse with Special K. (We're reviving our Walk Like a Camel act from five years ago for the Country show on April 9). I went to pick T back up after that and we packed some more.

The reality of moving in with T is really starting to sink in. It's been a long time (maybe this is the first time ever) that I have felt so solid about someone and I'm truly grateful for her in my life. Details like changing my address and cancelling utilities and renting a storage space are making it all very real and vivid. And each time we speak on the phone or see each other, we're just delighting in one another, laughing and appreciating our togetherness and coupledom.

It's just blissful.

All right, time to get back to relaxing. Have a nice week, kids!

xox,
Ms. Bea Haven

But Back to My Regularly-Scheduled Updates...

Ugh.

I don't even like to leave stuff like that last post up as my main post too long, because that's not where I'm at now.

So, as I mentioned...last night was a FANTASTIC show. There have been moments in my life where I stand back from what's happening and observe it and feel immensely satisfied with the effort that's been put in and the brilliance of those people who surround me. Last night was one of those nights.

It was just the right mix. There were hoopers and bellydance and modern dance and go-go along with my usual cast of stripteasers. It was sexy, it was funny, and the crowd was eating it up with a spoon. I hosted (which I used to hate, but have finally gotten the hang of) and was very funny. (I know because all day long people have been IMing me telling me I was really "on" last night).

Special Lady T was there, which was a treat. She has been taking a break from attending everything I do--because there is so MUCH of it--and it was awesome to see her smiling face out there all night. She brought one of her friends, who also had a GREAT time. And it was amazing to see my good friend Mick there. It has been too long since we all hung out.

So, yes, fuckin' awesome show. Well worth the minor mental breakdown I had on Wednesday night (and in the car yesterday afternoon) where I was overtired and stressed and it was all getting to me. I just need to remember this part and savor it.

OMG.

The best thing that is happening in my life is that I am MOVING IN with Special Lady T in a week! I'm super-duper-excited about the whole thing. It's been a long time in coming and it's finally here. If that relationship I was blogging about this morning represents the low point, T is definitely, definitely the high one.

She's an amazing, supportive, centered, together woman who is strong enough, cool enough, and hot enough for me. She just gets me in a way that nobody else ever has and makes me want to work on myself, be a better person, and spend the rest of my days with her. And not in a gross obsessive way. Just in a two-puzzle-pieces-that-fit-together-right kind of way.

Hooray!

All right, I need to get back to laundry and whatnot. I am on my last two loads of laundry EVER in this place. And perhaps the last laundry I will ever pay quarters to wash & dry. WOO!

Mas later, bitches.

Unsure Why I Do This To Myself From Time to Time

So there it was, finally.

Last night, after a fantastic show (loads of new performers, great energy, amazing music), I was on a high. I had a great night and for some reason, I decided to blow it by logging into an ex's blog (always a big mistake) and read a fairly blame-y description of our unhealthy "relationship".

According to this person, I was a crazy mess (true in the case of that "relationship") and we were unhealthy together (also true). But the description of how things ended is not sitting right with me. Nor is the nasty little dig about how he didn't remember why he even liked me in the first place.

I have written volumes here about this particular relationship. In all, the whole thing lasted only a month or so, but it's taken about two years for me to sort through what the hell happened. This relationship was the first and only time I've ever been involved in anything that resembled domestic violence (whereas this person has a history of that in his life, stretching way back). That's not even a part of my world.

Overall, I feel like the sort of blamey tone and the description that he promptly broke up with me--when in fact he strung me along for about seven months until he found someone "better"--fills me full of rage, even two years later.

OK, how about this revision of the history: You nearly choked me to death when we were drunk (and I was nowhere near anyone I knew nor was I able to get home quickly--we were on "vacation") and then broke up with me immediately but pretended to be my best friend until I said something mean about the relationship you're in now, which I actually think is a disgusting re-enactment of your own childhood.

Blech. I sure didn't need that.

Copyright and Art

Soooooo....



(Taken down due to copyright violations)

This past winter, YouTube took down a bunch of my video pieces because they "violated copyright law". I was pretty sure that this was some kind of extension of the drama that's been playing itself out in my life since the fall, but it turns out that a lot of artists are having the same problem. I just deleted my YouTube account in frustration and put all of my video elsewhere.

I read a great article from EFF (the Electronic Frontier Foundation--a pretty cool organization) this morning that talks about the problem and gives people options for what to do if this happened to them. Read on and take action, peeps...




This is what it's come to. Teenagers singing "Winter Wonderland" being censored off YouTube.

Fair use has always been at risk on YouTube, thanks to abusive DMCA takedown notices sent by copyright owners (sometimes carelessly, sometimes not). But in the past several weeks, two things have made things much worse for those who want to sing a song, post an a capella tribute, or set machinima to music.

First, it appears that more and more copyright owners are using YouTube's automated copyright filtering system (known as the Content ID system), which tests all videos looking for a "match" with "fingerprints" provided by copyright owners.

Second, thanks to a recent spat between YouTube and Warner Music Group, YouTube's Content ID tool is now being used to censor lots and lots of videos (previously, Warner just silently shared in the advertising revenue for the videos that included a "match" to its music).

EFF, along with many other public interest groups, have repeatedly expressed our concerns to both copyright owners and YouTube about the dangers of automated filtering systems like the Content ID system. These systems are still primitive and unable to distinguish a tranformative remix from copyright infringement. So unless they leave lots of breathing room for remixed content, these filters end up sideswiping lots of fair uses.

And that's exactly what has happened these past few weeks. And while today it's Warner Music, as more copyright owners start using the Content ID tool, it'll only get worse. Soon it may be off limits to remix anything with snippets of our shared mass media culture -- music, TV, movies, jingles, commercials. That would be a sad irony -- copyright being used to stifle an exciting new wellspring of creativity, rather than encourage it.

It's clear from the Warner Music experience that YouTube's Content ID tool fails to separate the infringements from the arguable fair uses. And while YouTube offers users the option to dispute a removal (if it's an automated Content ID removal) or send a formal DMCA counter-notice (if it's an official DMCA takedown), many YouTube users, lacking legal help, are afraid to wave a red flag in front of Warner Music's lawyers. That's a toxic combination for amateur video creators on YouTube.

So what can we do?

First, YouTube should fix the Content ID system. Now. The system should not remove videos unless there is a match between the video and audio tracks of a submitted fingerprint. When we made this suggestion in October 2007, YouTube assured us that they were working on improving the tool. Well, it's been more than a year. If YouTube is serious about protecting its users, the time has come to implement this fix. (Some will point out that this implies that record labels and music publishers can never use the Content ID tool to remove videos solely based on what's in the audio track. That's right. I think that adding a soundtrack to your home skateboarding movie is a fair use. If copyright owners feel differently, they can send a formal DMCA takedown notice, and with any luck, we'll see each other in court.)

Second, YouTubers, EFF wants to help. If Warner Music Group took down your video, ask yourself if your video is (1) noncommercial (i.e., no commercial advertisements or YouTube Partner videos) and (2) includes substantial original material contributed by you (i.e., no verbatim copies of Warner music videos). If so, and you'd like to counternotice but are afraid of getting sued, we'd like to hear from you. We can't promise to take every case, but neither will we stand by and watch semi-automated takedowns trample fair use.

Big boo.

Booooooooooooooooo.

I keep typing stuff into this form I'm making at Formsite.com*--in an effort to actually do work for my job while at work...and then I accidentally hit the "delete" button and it deletes the form. It has happened three times now.

*This is not formsite.com's fault. It is my own for not saving it THREE TIMES.

Eff it. I'm making business cards for my production company with my last hour.

Mas later, bitches.

Two Pounds? Really?

Things are still busy. Last night was fun--I went to my costume class lab and me and ChiStageDiva traced one of my bras onto some scrap fabric to learn how to make patterns. We made two bullet bra cups and the halter part. My homework is to sew them together.

The coolest part was when I was explaining my martini act and she told me that she'd seen it. She said that it was one of the most entertaining things she saw at Beastwomen and couldn't believe that was me. Nice compliments. I really need to get good video of that act, once the new costume is done. I think it's one of my strongest pieces right now.

Tonight will be fun. I'm meeting K at the studio so we can go through our acts for this weekend. I'm so glad that she and I reconciled. It was a long time in coming--we were such good friends and I was so sad when we got mad at each other. I'm so happy to have her back in my life and it's nice to have my old collaborator back. She and I were always such a good fit. We're gonna re-work something from the archives and start work on some top-secret new acts.

And speaking of my excellent friends who I miss, I'm meeting E for coffee on Saturday before class. I'm giving her the mini-sombreros I got for her and Aunty in Mexico. (I bought eight of them total, in many colors. K gets one too, and CruelV, for teaching my class while I was gone.) I adore Ms. E and I'm so glad whenever we manage to carve out a minute to spend together.

And speaking of REALLY REALLY old friends...I just got back into contact with a pile of people I knew in San Francisco when I lived there, through Facebook. I found my old roommate Bridget Alias (not her real name--we were all on this crazy BBS and had "handles" back in the day) and I've been writing back and forth with her. It's so amazing that this BBS (SFNET) made a Facebook group. I've been out of touch with those folks for going on ten years and they were who I knew and hung out with when I was young. It was such a small tightly-knit group; I'm so very grateful for Facebook for putting me back in touch. Amazing.

This weekend is crazy crazy. T's super cool parents are in town (how glad am I that they are chill and nice and a pleasure to hang out with? SUPER), I have three shows, and we're doing auditions for Girlie-Q. There are a bunch of new ladies signed up--I'm so excited! It's going to be nice to see some fresh faces.

Sidenote: My music is on "shuffle" from last night's Facebook note-writing and Judas Priest just came on. Too much for first thing. I had to switch it to Herb Alpert.

Diet Update: So, I have been on this diet since January (1,500 calories a day) and I'd been feeling like I'm really getting into "fighting weight", so I was excited to get weighed yesterday at the doctor (I went in for my annual). The last time I was weighed was probably January, so I was stoked. I was horrified when the nurse told me I'd only lost 2 pounds. BOOOOOO. I was so upset when I left the office, figuring that my vacation had blown any gains made. And I was starving yesterday afternoon due to my super-lean lunch, so that did not help me feel any better. I went right to Jimmy John's and got dinner--because I was sad and wanted something delicious I could not eat on my diet.

So then last night I went to costume lab and the teacher measured me to determine which pattern size we were going to use...And I decided to enter my measurements into the site I'm using to track my diet...And I've lost four inches from my waist and an inch from my bust. So, I guess the moral of the story is that the number does not matter. It's how you look & feel (well, and that there is progress in some fashion)

Back to the diet, I say.

All right. Must jump and go to the real life I lead (where glitter application is not a job requirement. Which is sad.) At least the weather's gonna warm up today.

Mas later.

xox

Seems like once a month...

is about my blogging speed these days.

Things are GREAT, but busy. I just spent a week in Mexico with my partner (Special Lady T), her MainGay and our favorite straight hairdresser. It was blissful--so relaxing and recharging. I have a tan for the first time in god-knows-how-long and the hardest decision to make there was whether or not to have another margarita.

In about three weeks, me and T move in together--at her place--and in-between now and then, life is a whirlwind of shows, promo, and more shows. Oh, and preparing for shows.

Yesterday, I had my first burlesque costume class. It was really, really fun. Me and two of my burly friends signed up and went and hung out at Prop Thtr and sewed stuff for two hours with ChiStageDiva. She's this really cool and quirky costume designer who loves making crazy over-the-top costumes for the stage. She taught us how to make ruffles and do a rolled hem. Awesome.

Then I went to the fruit stand grocery store and came back home for a brief second. And then it was back out into the snow for a new salon series at the studio. I decided to put together a free non-class non-rehearsal for my friends and fellow performers in the burly scene, so we have a time and place to just rehearse together and grok and hang out. It was great fun--me and K Von K ran through some acts for about an hour and a half and then she left.

I had the space to myself for a half-hour, during which I made a master list of acts I've done and things I want to revive and keep in the repertoire. It's a LONG list--Guess doing this stuff for seven years'll do that to you. There's nearly a dozen acts that I can just whip out at this point. Now I am going to make permanent costumes for those acts.

And speaking of that, then I went to Jo-Annes and got three vintage-style dress patterns and and vintage HAT pattern and bought some fabric. Our next lab session for sewing class is on Tuesday and I'm all set to get going on something. I want to cut it out and learn about how to sew it together on Tuesday. (And start work on some crazy crinolines.) Then I went to Trader Joe's and got stuff for the week, and came home and drew out my costume plans. I'm remaking the pieces for It's Martini Time! for a show in April.

This is the dress I'm making first:
All right. Must jump now. I have some mixing to do before work!