Unsure Why I Do This To Myself From Time to Time

So there it was, finally.

Last night, after a fantastic show (loads of new performers, great energy, amazing music), I was on a high. I had a great night and for some reason, I decided to blow it by logging into an ex's blog (always a big mistake) and read a fairly blame-y description of our unhealthy "relationship".

According to this person, I was a crazy mess (true in the case of that "relationship") and we were unhealthy together (also true). But the description of how things ended is not sitting right with me. Nor is the nasty little dig about how he didn't remember why he even liked me in the first place.

I have written volumes here about this particular relationship. In all, the whole thing lasted only a month or so, but it's taken about two years for me to sort through what the hell happened. This relationship was the first and only time I've ever been involved in anything that resembled domestic violence (whereas this person has a history of that in his life, stretching way back). That's not even a part of my world.

Overall, I feel like the sort of blamey tone and the description that he promptly broke up with me--when in fact he strung me along for about seven months until he found someone "better"--fills me full of rage, even two years later.

OK, how about this revision of the history: You nearly choked me to death when we were drunk (and I was nowhere near anyone I knew nor was I able to get home quickly--we were on "vacation") and then broke up with me immediately but pretended to be my best friend until I said something mean about the relationship you're in now, which I actually think is a disgusting re-enactment of your own childhood.

Blech. I sure didn't need that.