Wedding Trailers

Um. Wow.

Did you know that people make "trailers" for their weddings?

No kidding. I did not know this.

Silly heterosexuals and their "sanctified unions".


Chantal and Jackson's Wedding Trailer from LuxArt Video on Vimeo.

Weekend Report Part Deux

The movie with MainGay sucked. Not hanging out with MainGay or the moments before or after the movie, but the movie ITSELF was not great. It was some French epic called "A Christmas Tale" which was neither about Christmas nor a very good narrative.

It was all loose and French and too long.

But after the movie, we went out to dinner (again!) to Francesca's, which we all love and is a good treat. MainGay is a delightful dinner companion and a nice all-around date. He's charming and fun to talk to and a very comfortable guy. We had a lovely time.

I have to stop spending so much money, but it was a fun weekend. Sunday was very nice. I got up early with T, we packed up half of my donation books--still weeding stuff down to move in with her--and we went to the gym in her 'hood for two hours. TWO HOURS. Then we donated my books and five bags of clothes, picked up some ingredients and came back to my house.

Once we got here, I made some delicious vegetarian minestrone with fresh pesto, T photographed my bookcases to put them on Craigslist--let the jettisoning of stuff BEGIN--and we watched the Bears game. After we got bored with the game (third quarter. It was obvious they were going to win), T left and I TCB'd. I did my laundry, went to the library to check out videos and chilled out. I also dyed my hair with this nice product (L'oreal Natural Match) that made my hair all glossy and pretty for the holiday and cut bangs.

I'm all pretty for the holiday!

This week is going to be totally quick. I have loads of activities planned--meeting GirlDownstairs tonight for a drink after work, class on Tuesday and then Top Chef with MainGay and PastryChef on Wednesday. Then in the AM on Thursday, we head to the T Family Home (where she grew up!) for dinner and hanging with the family.

In other news, did you know that the Jacksons used to have a variety show?



Mas later!

Hooray! A Normal Life!

I feel so accomplished.

While it is not the BIGGEST deal in the world, I just cleared out another three bags of clothes, sent an email to a lady whose mini-trampoline I borrowed three years ago (so I can finally get it back to her) and cleaned out the front hall closet. I have a huge donation for Brown Elephant now and the peace of mind that when Special Lady T and I move in together, we will have enough room for my regular clothes in her condo.

Now, the costumes, those are another story...I'm going to have to have a special burlesque garage sale to deal with those...

Anyway. It's the second weekend without shows and the first one where there's no major activities save social time with friends. It is a huge sigh of relief to not have to go somewhere and take off my clothes. I have to say that I suspect that I was really burned out and the dramatic events of the last few months--and subsequent bridge-burning by someone I thought was my friend--have killed all desire to perform, at least in the burlesque-y side of things.

I was talking it over with my colleague DevoGal, and she was saying that it's probably hard when there are two people with big egos vying for attention. And she said that it's probably good for me to take a break, because maybe then I'd be less stressed. And then when I went out to a movie with my gay boyfriend FHDG, he was saying that the key to longevity in this field was to take frequent breaks when you start to feel worn out.

He was also very complimentary about my stage character and presence. He said that I am a great performer and he loves working with me. It's nice to hear, especially in light of recent slaps-in-the-face in this arena.

But onto the weekend.

I started out the weekend going out to see a free screening of Milk, the new Gus Vant Sant movie about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay person to hold political office with FHDG. It was a great film and we both got a little teary. Then we went out to a lovely dinner at Calo's in Andersonville and talked about a new possible collaboration. I love FHDG's sensibility (he sent me some links to some YouTube stuff that he loves) and I like how calm and non-back-stabby he seems, so I'm going to move forward with the project. It's right up my alley--but mum's the word about it for now. I don't want to reveal too much too soon.

Then last night, I went to SLT's and we went to meet her friends K&L for dinner at Indie Cafe, which is this delicious Thai place. We had a lovely dinner and chatted and caught up with them. It was really delightful and we were back at her house and in bed by 10. Glorious.

This morning, we got up early and hung out on the couch, drinking coffee. Then she went to the gym for kickboxing class and I continued my sitting-on-the-couch hour. She came back and got ready and then we went to meet Aunty Onion and E for brunch. We couldn't get into the place we wanted to go (the cultish vegetarian place--Victory's Banner), or rather, we could, but I whined about being too hungry to wait 25 minutes and so we went to Kitsch'n instead. Again, lovely time. We caught up with E & Aunty, had some yummy brunch and went our separate ways.

Then I came home and started cleaning--I got a lot done--and T went home to shower and whatnot. She's coming over in a bit and we're going to (yet another) movie and meeting her friend MainGay for dinner. Tomorrow, the plans are to watch the Bears game, sit around, and chill. I plan to get a FEW things to tide me over till Turkey Day and do a load or two of laundry. Then Monday I meet my old friend GirlDownstairs, Tuesday is class night, and Wednesday is Top Chef.

All righty. I need to get a few more things done before T gets here. Later, taters!

Update

Did another "sleep like the dead" night last night. I was totally exhausted all day at work because of the waking-at-4:30 AM issue yesterday. I forced myself to stay up last night to watch (in order) the Top Model finale, Fashionista--which is inexplicably good, and Top Chef. Although I don't remember what happened too much on Top Chef.

So, I'm trying to figure out if I should join a gym. I think it's probable that it's what I need to do and there is a gym at the park district one and a half blocks away that is $15/month to join. If there was ever a "no excuses" time to join a gym, I would think that it's now.

Last night I left work a bit early and wandered around downtown. I went to a few stores and sussed out swimsuits (the gym one and half blocks away is also a natatorium!), which was pretty unsuccessful. And I also wandered and looked at cashmere sweaters (yum), found an adorable skirt for the holidays--which was not purchased, and looked at a sale at Filene's. Clearing out old stuff yesterday made clear what the holes are in my work & casual wardrobes: white and light colored button shirts (I have none), jeans (I have one pair that fits me the way I like), and pretty cocktail dresses/tops.

It is totally strange that the cocktail attire is lacking, given the burlesque performance stuff, but that stuff is generally too tacky/bridesmaid-y to be worn in real life. And we're heading into a season of cocktail and holiday parties with all of our friends, so I need some modern sparkly stuff to wear.

So, uh, yeah. Blahblahblah clothes. Sometimes I feel super bougie, but I need to have clothes that are appropriate for my job and for the socializing I do. I've been sort of slacking in that department for years, so I'm trying to build it into my budget now to get some quality clothes that I like.

My parents emailed yesterday and we are going on a family vacation this summer. It's really far from here (they live in upstate NY) but it should be fun. I need to weigh the cost/time of driving (which they recommended, but four days in the car does not sound like very much fun to me) versus flying. But the place looks nice and the whole family is going. Should be interesting.

One week till Thanksgiving. We're in the countdown phase now. I'm heading off to the T Family Turkey Day next weekend and coming back in time to do the Prissy Bitch show on Saturday. The family turkey day should be fun--we're gonna take her mom to see Australia on Friday, if we can get tickets. And we get to hang out with baby Hazel more. I'm excited about that.

OK, gotta get ready for work. xox

The Chicago Reporter Wants Your Content

(reposted for my job)

Share your experiences and thoughts on Barack Obama's historic election

It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a Democrat or a Republican.

It doesn’t matter if you’re American or European.

When the outcome of the election was certain, almost everyone had something to say about President-Elect Barack Obama’s historic victory. And the response was immediate. Millions of cell phones went off across the globe the moment Obama’s victory was announced. It had to be millions. “All circuits are busy” is what my wife’s cell phone reported to her when she tried to call her mom at that moment.

The Chicago Reporter invites you to share your experiences at that moment and the thoughts you’ve had since that time in our “50 Days, 50 Voices” series. The idea was sparked from a lunch conversation with G. A. Finch, an attorney and former member of the Reporter’s Readers’ Bureau. In mid-October, Finch suggested that the Reporter solicit opinions on what it would mean if America elected its first African American president. We liked the idea. We hope you like it, too.

We will feature 50 of your responses on our Web site and here on tcrBLOG, one each day from Dec. 1, 2008, through Jan. 19, 2009. On inauguration day, Jan. 20, 2009, we will feature all of your responses. You can submit an essay, an audio recording, a video clip or a collection of photos.

http://www.chicagoreporter.com/index.php/c/Web%20Exclusive/d/Countdown_To_The_Inauguration

Helpful Hint #17: Cleaning the Closet

I just weeded the SHIT out of my closet. Over the last few weeks, I've been reading a few books on home & closet organization that I got out of the library (I know, I know. Dork!). So, I decided this morning, since I woke up at 5 and had no hopes of getting back to sleep, that I would go ahead and tackle my closet.

Armed with the idea that I would only keep stuff that I know fits, that I love to wear, that I have worn in the last five months and that is in good shape, I cleared out all of the crap I've collected over the last, oh, decade or so. Out with the rust suede a-line skirt that I wore to the Madbar poetry event a few times, gone are the bright orange ankle boots with black scuffs on the heels given to me by a friend, out are the multiple "blouses" purchased in haste last year for my interview with CRS that never really fit, and then there are the dresses. I got rid of a few dozen dresses, at least.

Helpful Hint #17: The positive psychic effects of cleaning out your closet are not to be underestimated.

Now I have a sparkling new closet that is easy to see what is what, where it is simple to put together a great outfit for work, and where I can't wait to turn when I need to get dressed in the morning. Woo! I think I will go take a shower so I can get started on that now...

Fin.

P.S. I changed my template. I was sick of the blue--too sad and I thought that a cleaned-out closet marked the start of a new era. So, hence, the update to the blog.

S-U-C-C-E-S-S

That's how we spell success. Tired of battling the powers-that-be at an unnamed video sharing service, JT Newman did what any enterprising young gal would do and signed up for Vimeo. Ah, Vimeo. With your pretty interface and delicious ease of use...Here's Rizzocam!

(I'm going to spend a few weeks uploading my video work from grad school before embarking on some new video projects.)


Rizzocam from Ms Bea Haven on Vimeo

Helpful Hint #16

Helpful hint #16 comes from my dear old Mom. And that is: "If you can't say something nice, it's better to not say anything at all."

I'm sticking to that.

Mas later, bitches.

Helpful Hint #15

I slept like the dead last night. I fell into bed at 9:30 and fell right asleep. I was supposed to call Special Lady T before I did, but to no avail. I was like "I'll just close my eyes for a seco...zzzzzzzzzz" and then I woke up an hour later and she was already in bed.

Yesterday, I did the craziest thing in my office. I was leaning down to pick something up off the floor and I banged my head on the corner of a metal bookcase. I have a huge egg on my forehead and a wee red mark where the corner hit. It looks yucky and the egg/swollen part hurts.

T asked me yesterday to join her in the annual Christmas party of a friend of hers in a few weeks that is historic because it occurs on the same weekend that we met last year. When we went on our first date and had a few glasses of wine and a lot of good conversation at a local watering hole, that very same night she was going to that party afterwards. Which means that in two and a half weeks, we will have been together for a year.

Yay!

I know that a year is not a whole lot of time, but it feels great to mark this anniversary with her. It means a lot to me. When I was dating people for the two and half years after being with El, it was a crazy transitional time in my life. It was a necessary evil to get to the goodness that is T, but it was an arduous and often vexing process. I learned a lot about myself and what I did and did not want. And in the process--got my finances and my work life back on track in a very serious way. AND we are moving in together in two and a half months. I'm really excited about that, even if it means I have to jettison a lot of junk.

It occurs to me that I have not written a "Helpful Hint" in a while. So, here's today's helpful hint: Even if you feel like you are just treading water, just make small movements towards your goals every week and before you know it, things will be on track.

All righty, I need to get back to it. (It being, of course, getting ready for work.) I will write more later. I'm feeling like perhaps there's a story or a poem brewing. And if there's not, I'm going to just force myself to write. There's no way to get going on it besides just starting something and seeing where it goes.

Mas later, bitches!

Weekly Update

Whew.

It has been another whirlwind. I am just now sitting down to do something besides planning for the Beyondmedia annual gala benefit (which I have to leave for in about two hours) for the first time in about two weeks. It is nice to be in the home stretch--next week I am only doing social things (and teaching one workshop at Early to Bed) so it should be fun.

A number of interesting occurrences happened this week:

• I finally (!) met--in person and casual-like--the ex-girlfriend of one of my exes. She was the one that he was getting over when we dated. She's a very nice lady--we had a fine time conversing with a mutual friend. When I met her, I didn't realize she was she, but once I realized it, I worked to be relaxed and not trip about it. Her undying and passionate love of Dolly Parton made me realize that we have some things in common. It was cool to see her geek out about something that I also geek out about.
• I saw some of my Evil Ex's friends and when I saw them, I just acted like it had been a long time since I saw them, that I was glad to see them, and that they should join the performance I was having in the next room, if they felt like it. It was kind of a breakthrough to not have all of that sting or feel strange. Guess three years is enough time for it to be water under the bridge. Also, these particular friends of my ex are the somewhat self-centered performer ones. I doubt seeing me even registered on their consciousnesses.
  
• I decided (again) that I need to lay off the performances (or slow down greatly). All of the crazy busy-ness is not making me happy and I am backing off. This also provides for opportunity for my students and they are fantastic. (I found them three potential gigs in December!)
  

In that same vein, I need to focus more on the teaching. I'm really excited that I have two classes this winter. It's going to be so much fun! I love teaching so much. And on a very similar note, I really want to get back to a regular writing practice. I feel like I am so much more calm & sane when I have a regular writing regimen in place. I was going to try to do NaNoWriMo again this year, but it's already the 15th and I never started.

This week also marked the second-to-last Dyke Mic of 2008. I think it might also be the second-to-last Dyke Mic ever. I'm really burned out on doing the show and there are plenty of other places to perform again. It seems like every time I start it up, a whole bunch of other shows crop up, so it's fine to quit it. There's not a regular crowd anyway anymore. I think the show's time has passed.

The show this last week (the first ever Dudes Who Dig Dykes night) was a smashing success. It was so much fun--I forgot how much I missed some of my male artist friends--like Actor Slash Model and Scott Free. The poets (Kurt and Adam) were great, too. They are all really amazing artists and excellent boys. I had a great time, the place was packed and the show was energizing.

OK. I need to go style my herrrrrrz for the event tonight. I'm "MC-ing" the whole evening. Should be fun--I don't even have to take off clothes!

"Interesting to know"

A weird comment popped up on a super old entry today. I didn't publish it, because it felt oddly like it was from my ex--I'm probably paranoid, but it seemed like her kind of comment. It was about a song I used to sing (formerly our) her son every night before bed and some details about that and the comment was "interesting to know." So, if "Leane", you are not my ex...Well, then, I apologize for deleting your comment. Just seemed a little freaky and cutting close to the bone in familiar tone.

Even though it's been three years now, I still get all visceral about our horrible breakup once a year now in November, when the weather turns cold. November was when I decided to leave--It was coming for months and months prior (I started thinking about it that March, but I was in graduate school and didn't want to go until after I was done) but November was the final break, when I prepared to move out.

Enough about that. I don't need a headful of ugly reminiscing to start my day.

This week is going to be very busy. Tonight is the Annual Meeting where I work and there's a lot to finish preparing for that; Tuesday we're back to regular teaching for the burlesque class; Wednesday is the premiere of the new season of Top Chef (Main Gay, Me, T and Pastry Chef's regular hangout night); Thursday is Dyke Mic (second to last in the season. Praise Jesus); Friday is Date Night--Me and T are going to a movie at the Gay & Lesbian Film Fest; and then Saturday is the benefit I've been working on for four months for Beyondmedia.

Phew. I am exhausted already.

OK. I need to get back to the busy list-making exercise I was engaged in before the email alerting me to a comment on my blog popped in.

I am kind of in love with...

President Elect Obama...(duh)

The Genius button on my new version of I-Tunes (it suggests playlists of like songs when you select a song! And it's pretty good at selecting)...I just now listened to: Ease on Down the Road from the Wiz; I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd; and Close to You by the Carpenters. It's like it's READING MY MIND.

Special Lady T--for helping me out of the monthly "what am I doing with my life?" questioning hour/nervous twitch.

My new Obama logo pasties with great tassel spinners on them--they are EVEN better in person.

Funny!

Hilarious.


Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Historic Moment

Don't forget to vote, people! (Not that you would forget...but I'm just sayin')

Photos!

Special Lady T shot a hot pinup of me on Sunday AM.






















AND I got back hilarious photos from the Halloween shows--The Prissy Bitch ones are especially good. (I was Princess Leia.) Thanks to BCJ and Special Lady T for today's photographic awesomeness.